Do you sometimes feel ‘not good enough’?
At some stage in our lives (and possibly often), everyone has been affected by this thought. At a recent psychology seminar that I attended, when surrounded by some truly inspirational, high-achieving individuals, we took a poll about our own personal insecurities and the overwhelming winner was that all of us had felt ‘not good enough’, at some stage in our lives. Unfortunately, with the constantly emphasised ideal of reaching perfection, we lose sight of what we are doing right and focus on what we perceive we are doing wrong.
Sometimes it works as a motivator as we strive to push ourselves that little bit further, but in less desirable circumstances, it can cause anxiety and depression because we worry that we will never break free of this internalised label, that we truly, will never be ‘good enough’.
Ultimately, you can do what most do and push this little voice down, hoping it will just subside. Or, you can confront it. Given that it may a lifelong little voice that you have carried, it’s not as simple as acknowledging it and waving it away, but you can choose to confront it, and take steps to working through it and in feeling more ‘worthy’.
In the event that you choose to feel ‘good enough’, here are a few little pointers, at least for contemplation, but ideally, to be put into action.
1) Make a decision to be good enough. Tell yourself that you are. Write it down if need be. Once you start to believe that you deserve to feel good enough, positive things will follow.
2) Emphasise the positive. How often are you the first to criticise yourself when things don’t go as planned, but the last to congratulate yourself when you achieve something? Take the time to contemplate your day/week, and give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back for all that you have achieved.
3) Redefine perfect. What we see as perfect is what we measure ourselves up against. Look at your aspirations, look at what you’re measuring yourself up against. Is is achievable? Release that desire to be perfect, and then you allow yourself to achieve to the best of your abilities.
A closing thought; NO ONE is ever perfect. Yet, everyone is good enough!
If you feel you need some assistance in acknowledging your self worth and in taking control of feeling ‘good enough’, contact Jana at Better Balance Counselling for an appointment.